11-11-11!!!

CRANK IT TO 11!!

Eleven is my favorite number so, I decided earlier this year that on 11.11.11 I would get a tattoo of... yes, you guessed it, eleven! I got the roman numeral of 11 tattooed on my foot. My friend Louie did it and it hurt more than any of my other tattoos. Chris, a friend I met through Louie, had gotten the This Is Spinal Tap amp nob going to 11 tattooed on him earlier that day. It was pretty amazing. We watched This Is Spinal Tap in the shop and I brought donuts. It was such a great 11-11-11. :)

...And boom goes the dynamite.

A Little Less Ugly, Please.

Project = Fun City!

Ugly Coffee Table Before (sanded):

Coffee Table (Not So Ugly) After:

The Living Room 

(with snow flake decals I put in the window)

I'm aware I should've gotten a primer to put under the Daredevil Orange, however,

I am not made of money people so, this will have to suffice. 

Improv and The Bitty Game.

Last night I tried improv for the first time... with a little help from some liquid courage.

I wasn't on a stage or in a theatre with an audience but, I was in a living room with a bunch of people that I now call my friends. They all work and/or perform at the SLO Little Theatre. My three other housemates perform/tech/manage at the theatre and I have slowly been invited into their circle of fun friends. My roommate came home the other night, after the Halloween party I went to with my housemates, and she told me, "They are having improv tomorrow night and everyone wanted me to tell you that you should come. They said they think you're quick and they'd love to have you." I thought that was super sweet and I was flattered! I had to at least show up and give it a try. I was curious to see what it would be like.

When I arrived I quickly guzzled down a few Newcastle's and waited for everyone to show up. During the improv they all made me feel so comfortable and even though I struggled at times to think quicker, they were so patient and kind to me. The only thing I noticed immediately was that I was far more vulgar than the rest. I held back a little bit and I am glad because it made me think of other ideas, and  helped me really tap into a part of my brain I hadn't ever really explored.... you know, that creative side.

When pizza arrived at the end we all sat down, exhausted and pleased. We talked more about the different kinds of improv there is and that what we did was basically just warm ups. I was pleased and a little embarrassed at all the positive feed back everyone gave me on my performance. They said I wasn't scared to get in there and be involved. I thought that was a weird compliment because that's what you're supposed to do, right?! Thhen I remembered this other lady who came and she never once jumped in willingly, she only participated when we had warm ups and games. Then they told me I need to get over my fear of an audience and I should keep coming back. I warned them that when I speak in front of an audience I sound like I am about to cry. Who knows though, maybe they can break this wild horse? Ha!

Before I left we played this game called "The Bitty Game". There is this absolutely sweet, young actress that goes by the nick name Bitty. She is cute, small, and young. She has this innocence about her too. I really like her because she knows who she is and doesn't let outside forces break her. I respect that. Anyways, the Bitty Game: Bitty will ask someone a question and they have to respond honestly. Bitty has this amazing insight and can come up with the most epic, deep questions. People are allowed to ask follow up questions too.

My Bitty Question: If we were to take your cell phone away from you right now, would you have to delete stuff before we could see it? (I had been texting someone)
My Response: Oh! I'm sorry I was texting but, YES. The only reason is because the thing I try to keep to myself is my dating life. I don't feel that is really anyone else's business unless I want it to be.
Follow Up Question: If you were about to die, would you be scared of what your family and friends would find if they went through your stuff/room?
Me: No. I don't think any of the people that truly knew me would really be surprised. I am an open book. I think there would be a few times where my friends would probably see something and say, "Oh Lo...She would..." and probably laugh and roll their eyes but, that isn't anything they don't do already to my face. I try to keep who I am honest. I am not much different behind closed doors. My friends are all different and I feel they respect me for who I am and I respect them for who they are. I may not be perfect; hell, I cuss like a sailor, But I am who I am and I worked really hard to like myself. I used to hate my life and hate who I was. Now I am happy and now people just need to take me for who I am. The relationships I have in my life are all based off respect and respecting our differences; those are the people that will NOT be surprised at what they find in my room.

At the end of my long rant I looked at everyone, they all smiled and nodded their head in agreement.

One guy even said, "If this were Facebook I would thumbs up your answer."

 I just smiled and said, "Thank you."

Hello Goodbye

Hello! I am listening to the Beatles while I put away the massive amount of clean clothes that have recently taken up shop on the top of my bed. I hate being reduced to one side of my bed when I sleep but, laziness has been an evil ruler too long and it is now time to take a stand. So here I stand in my torn sweatshirt and my empowering Godzilla cartoon underwear. Boo-yah!!


Goodbye this weekend.
I lost a hub cap on my car between Visalia and Bakersfield. My car is now officially ghetto. Yes, I am riding dirty...whatever that means.

I saw my friend Samantha's 7 year old and 2 year old. I felt everything parents complain about in just those 28 hours I spent there. Coffee wasn't enough and that made me want to cry. It was like finding out your hero is really the bad guy. My butt also was abused and it especially hurt the second day from all the pushing and hitting it endured. However, when it was bedtime and after I gave the 2 year old a hug in Sam's arms, she turned to walk away and 2 year old looked back at me and demanded, "Gimme a kiss!" I couldn't refuse that adorable face and my heart instantly melted. In that moment there is only that and it makes all the other stuff you have to put up with worth it. My butt maybe sore and I may be sleep deprived but my heart was a pile of mush.

Bakersfield. Oh, Bakersfield! You have changed so much and I wish I could say it was for the better. The only improvement I saw was that Spencer's restaurant was busy and had improved the layout while keeping it's charm. To the waitresses surprise I dined there alone in the morning with a good book. It made me really happy to be alone, especially when 12 hours before I had two kids hanging on me. I hope I don't have to go back anytime soon. I do miss my friends there but I have a futon and better weather... come visit ME.

Off to accomplish the next task on my To Do List. I love productive days off.

A Visual: Taking Time...

Taking time to walk and write on the Pier.

Taking time to admire pretty things via Miss Pea

And most importantly,

Nap.

Sailing into a Stalker.

Sailing man came in the other night at work and cornered me. He asked how my lunch date (my excuse for not taking him up on his original sailing offer weeks prior) went and if it went bad, could he take me to lunch or sailing.

WHOA. What the shit!?

So he came back into my store to follow up with me and hope he could get a second chance at going out with me? REALLY!? This is creepy but it gets creepier.

I was polite and I said:

Oh! I'm sorry I didn't clarify before but that lunch date was with my boyfriend.

We had just set up a time to meet up for a lunch date. 

He said:

Oh... Well I was going to say if your date didn't go well maybe I could take you out,

but I didn't know it was with your boyfriend.

I said:

Yeah, well, it went well and is still is! I'm sorry again if I wasn't clear.

(Yes, I lied. I am now single but would you go out with him!? I WOULDN'T!)

He said:

Oh well, you did get my hopes up a little bit but alright...

I said:

Sorry 'bout that. But I appreciate the offer. It was very nice of you.
(I start cleaning something as if to say: I am ending the conversation.)

He didn't stop:

You're welcome. It's just that you're an attractive girl and I had to at least try.

I mean, you are beautiful and I would love to be able to take you out.... 
(He trails off about me and it's weird so I start focusing on how uncomfortable i am getting)

I interrupt:

--Okay! Thanks! I am blushing now so I am going to go in the back room.
Have a good night. 
(I bolt. He kind of smiles like my blushing was a good thing. It's wasn't dude.)

Red flags went up and I had to leave before it got worse. I didn't want to know how he saw me... Ugh. Needlesstosay, if I turn up dead out at sea then you will know who is responsible. Sorry, that was morbid but the way he was talking when he was describing me was very uncomfortable, he said it very affectionately like as if he was describing a dream. Weird!! 

If he comes in again and makes me feel uncomfortable then I am kicking his ass out and this "attractive" girl is going to get real ugly with him.   *Hold my hoops!*

Strong Work Ethic And Tantrums Don't Mix.

Another night alone and another night with Adams, Sam Adams.

I reflect:

Today I felt like a mother at work. I put my hand on my hip and said, "That was unnecessary!" In my most stern, mommy-like voice. 

I said it to a 28 year old, male co-worker who had gotten upset about not making whipped creams right and slammed a pitcher of milk into the sink. Who does that besides a 5 year old?!! I turn and there's a customer looking at us. I laughed it off with the customer who looked a little off put by the whole thing and luckily he was okay with it.

Enter stage right: Lo pissed off.


When my barista finally came back out to clean the milk mess he was laughing at himself until I interrupted him with, "Can you NOT throw a tantrum on the floor and in front of customers!?!?!"  Yes, it was a tad passive aggressive but honestly, this boy tests my patience... frequently! I stopped him and told him to go on his break NOW.  Lucky for me he listened to me and sulked off into the back room, I imagine with his tail between the legs.

It baffles me that someone at the age of 28 could act that way and have such disregard for others around them. He works two jobs and tried to use that as an excuse later and it took all I had not to say, "If you work two jobs and you're tired, then that's your own damn fault! If you're in a bad mood then apologize before hand if you are feeling a bit tired and off because honestly, I don't care what happened before you came to work. All I care about is how you perform at THIS job. And I'd really like to not feel like an over glorified babysitter. I am a supervisor, not your mommy."

Oh Sam, I think it is sleepy time. Thanks for expediting the process.

Goodnight all.

Stand Up, Sit Down.

Watching tears slowly fill my eyes; filling with each thud of my pounding heart.

Animals sporadically run through the walls and surround me with the sound of their scratching claws.

The silence is loud and obtrusive. 

I beg to be distracted.

Everything I gave was authentic and genuine. 

I can never seem to win.

I see my past and feel my present and taste the metallic blood of my battered heart.

Now I sit and wait for any escape.

I am trying to count how many times I have moved since moving to SLO seven years ago. This is hard. It shouldn't be this hard, right?! I need to make a list and to make it fun I will add funny little comments about each place!

1: Haunted House. creeeepy..
2: Pink and Black 50's bathroom- t'was love.
3: Five words: Red Hot Tub In The Floor. Enough said.
4: Stellar view of Madonna Mtn. and my first time having a blow out with a housemate.
5-7: Moved in with mom between a few of these places.
8: Cancer water. Smelled of sulfur. I swear it shortened my life and I never felt clean.
9: The Islay House. *sigh* Nothing will ever be better than that house.
10: Frat house. No, not really but judging by the decor and carpet it might as well have been.
11.... Now, this is where I am moving to in July. 11 is my favorite number so I have high hopes for this place. I will be living with three other theater arts gals.




To be continued...?